Stuck Like Glue

Last year around the end of summer my Dad put some glue strips/traps in my garage. I had told him there were lizards in my garage and this was the solution to the problem. I really never saw them but they used my steps as their bathroom. I guess we put them out too late in the season because we never caught anything except crickets and a few random bugs, and then I sort of forgot about them; basically ignored them for the last 6 months. There was still one strip laying on the top step leading up to the door into the house, and there it has been untouched for the last 6 months.

Well.

Today I got home from work and pulled into the garage like any other day. Got out of the car, walked around the back of the car, and started towards the steps before I stopped short. There was a lizard on the glue strip. Oh no! Poor little lizard! This is inhumane! Ew, Ew, Ew. I crept up to the step (as well as one can creep with an air cast on one foot) secretly hoping he was already dead. I needed to check and see if he was dead; he was only halfway stuck to the glue, just the front half of his body. So I blew on him and... nothing. So I picked up my good foot and nudged the strip ever so slightly and BAM the lower half of his body swung around and got stuck on the glue. And I screamed a little. Now I've figured out that he's not dead, and I'm the reason he's more stuck on the glue. I decide I can't deal with this so I just go in the house muttering "ew, ew, ew".

About an hour later I need to leave again to head to town. I'm going to take the trash can out to the road because tomorrow morning is trash pick up, so I decide I will throw the glue strip in the trash can. Otherwise I will have to  look at him every time go in and out of the house. I put my big girl britches on and mentally prepare myself to "just deal with it". I decided to "check" him again to see if he was still alive, so I used my good foot like last time and nudged the strip just a bit. In the process I lose my balance because I am standing on the leg with the air cast, and end up putting a lot of my foot on the glue strip as I fall toward the step.

Freak out!

My foot is stuck to the glue!

AND THERE IS A LIZARD ATTACHED!

I hobble a couple of steps and decide this is not so bad, just make my way over to the trash can and I won't have to really touch him for that long at all. About halfway there I lose my balance again, and when my foot comes down I lose the strip and it lands upside down. And the lizard's one foot that is not on the glue is wiggling. Not twitching, not shaking, but wiggling; like, I'm stuck on this glue trap and my one free foot is going to save me kind of wiggling. Enough of this; I reach down and grab it, say "I'm sorry" about 10 times and toss him in the trash can.

I immediately feel remorse. What have I done to Larry! (Yes, in this brief moment of shame I named the lizard)

Not only was he dying a slow death on my step where he at least had a view of the garage, now I have tossed him like garbage into a dark hole, then wheeled him out to the street! God said thou shalt not kill and I have murdered this lizard! That's it. No more glue strips. I much prefer more humane methods like those mouse traps that cut off their heads guillotine style.

Boy I sure hope he's dead before Brett comes to empty the trash tomorrow morning.

And to make matters worse, I can NOT get that Sugarland song "Stuck like Glue" out of my head.