Manners (or Common Sense?)

Ok people. I don’t claim to be an expert on manners or anything (or maybe I do), but I feel the need to explain a few things. Perhaps you were absent that day in elementary school when some of these things were covered, perhaps you don’t know any better because you weren’t led by example, or perhaps you just don’t care (in which case you piss me off). Working at a hospital, I see and interact with a lot of different people throughout my day; doctors, nurses, patients, caregivers, even the FedEx or UPS man. In doing so, I encounter things daily that just really get under my skin. For example:

Hallways: Silly me, but I think it is polite to speak to someone you pass in the hallway. You don’t have to say much; ‘good morning’, ‘hi’, or even just a smile would do just fine. Especially if we make eye contact. I can’t tell you how many times I speak to someone and they straight up ignore me. Dude, I’m not having the best day either, and I’m most likely walking in the hallway because I need to take a lap and cool off after talking to the latest ‘Ms. Swan’ or dealing with the latest attack-of-the-village-idiot. But I smiled at you dammit, so the least you can do is smile back. Oh, and this whole there’s-four-of-us-in-our-posse-so-we’re-going-to-walk-four-wide-down-the-hallway has got to stop. In case you haven’t noticed, there are other people walking the opposite direction, and it is not appreciated when you roll your eyes, sigh, barely move and leave thismuchroom for me to walk by (emo students and teenie bopper volunteers? I’m talking to you).

Elevators: Contrary to your belief, you are not the only person in the building wanting to use the elevator. I know it is hard to imagine that when the doors open there might actually be someone inside wanting to get out. So when you can barely wait for the doors to open wide enough to fit your body through and you’re already walking into the elevator, why do you look so surprised and shocked when you run into someone? How weird! Someone is trying to get out! Maybe I should not huff and puff and act like it is their fault for running into me! Say it with me: People inside get off first. Then you go inside. Should we put up a sign to help you remember, or perhaps a traffic light?

Corners/Doorways: Unfortunately there are not mirrors at every corner to see if someone is coming. Run-ins will happen, and even those awkward I’ll-go-this-way-you-go-that-way dance interactions where you toddle back and forth until you finally figure out which way to go to avoid slamming into the other person. But seriously? I am so tired of being the only person to say ‘excuse me’. It is no one’s fault really, or maybe it is both of our faults. But every single time I am the only one to say excuse me, like it's my fault for just being there. I try to say ‘forget it! No more being nice! Put on your death stare and attack!’ but it feels so mean that I can’t do it (I know right! I can’t believe it either). And if you are particularly obnoxious about it (rolling eyes, seriously not moving out of the way at all, or otherwise acting like the entire encounter is all my fault), you will most likely get an ‘excuse YOU’ with a side of eye roll from me.

So in other words? Stop acting like I should move aside and roll out the red carpet just because you are walking down the hall/getting in the elevator/walking around the corner. My patience is wearing thin and I didn’t have much to begin with. Thank you for attending this educational training session on how not to piss me off.